I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
