we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
