as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize