Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
