I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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