Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize