actually, I'm a sock model
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
