# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You may now shotgun with the bride
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
