nut hugger
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
