when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
