i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
