I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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