she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
