Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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