was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
