you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize