I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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