So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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