I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
