Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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