hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize