im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
