she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i will never coherently bang her
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
