doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
