nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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