My friends, they love my intelligence
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
