Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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