I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
