hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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