AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
