i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
