Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
