We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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