It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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