We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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