So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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