You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I bet he comes in French.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
