sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
