You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
