so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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