My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
you had me at cake vodka
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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