My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
