So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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