just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
