Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
