that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
