But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Randomize
