How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
high people should be assigned attendants
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
