I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
