So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize