Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
