There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
