I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
