Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
