We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
