margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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