she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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