ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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