About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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