Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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