I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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