Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
