hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
