I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
