Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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