thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
