I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
