STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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