I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
