when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
