I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize