i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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