Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
