in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
