she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
