Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
