drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
